3 Questions to Help You Re-Center

Life as a mom is hectic. Whether you’re a stay-at-home, working in an office, or doing both, it can be easy to become overwhelmed with everyone else’s needs that you lose track of your own.

In most societies, women are praised for being altruistic, generous, helpful, and putting others first. And, although those qualities are wonderful in moderation, it often leads us to give too much to others and very little to ourselves.

When you find yourself overwhelmed, stressed, and unsure of what to do next, here are some questions to help re-center you.

1. Who does this voice belong to?

So often when we hear the thoughts telling us to “do more”, “spend more time with the baby”, and you need to “be helpful and say yes”, they don’t stem from our true desires. They are a reflection of the culture, families, and beliefs we were brought up with.

Next time you notice that voice telling you to do more and overextend yourself, ask it “who do you belong to?” Putting a name to it can help you detach and then choose to listen to yourself instead.

2. What is one simple and easy thing I can do for myself right now?

Of course, even after we recognize that a certain thought isn’t ours, it can be hard to hear what we actually need and want. One way to make that a little easier is by asking very specific questions like the one above. The answer doesn’t need to be complicated. It can be as simple as spending 10 minutes alone outside and listening to music while your partner watches the baby or as elaborate as organizing a weekend away with your girlfriends.

By making it a practice to check in with yourself about what you need, that will voice will gain strength and it’ll become easier and easier to hear.

3. Who can I lean on for support?

Moms are often praised for doing it all, often without help. It seems like the more one does as a mother, the more praise she receives. And although it is nice to be acknowledged, this creates external pressure on us to be constantly performing and doing things on our own, which then leads us to shoulder even more responsibilities.

Next time, when you notice overwhelm creeping in and your plate filling with to-dos, take a moment to pause and ask yourself who you can lean on. Whether it’s a babysitter, a family member, or your partner get in the practice of asking for help. And no, this doens’t make you weak- it makes you strong.

There you have it mama. Three questions to help you tap back into your needs and making space for one of the most important people in your life: you.